The system hadn't updated Mark and Donny's digital food stamp accounts for the month. It was over two weeks late and they told me on the sidewalk one morning they were hungry. Mark's revenue from canning wasn't earning enough to keep him in meals and malt liquor. The competition for returnable cans and bottles was intense, occasionally verging on hostile, in Sellwood.
Mark and Donny were flat broke. They tried explaining why they no longer revived benefits. It was something about how the state required recipients to renew and/or verify their status and the whole process and explanation was very unclear to me.
They said they could solve the digital impasse by using apps on their phones, only they didn't have phones. They could visit the library and use computers to solve the problem but the web site demanded mailing addresses and they didn't have mailing addresses. Besides, the web site option took days.
Their only option was to ride a bus downtown to a homeless services center situated in a “dystopia nightmare,” according to Donny, stand in line, and meet with a real human being face to face to fix the digital problem.
When Mark and Donny told me they were hungry, really hungry, starving, it was the first time I'd heard an American adult say that in the context of having no money to pay for food and the required money was nowhere in sight.
The problem about riding the bus downtown was that Mark and Donny were broke. I could have driven them downtown later that afternoon but didn't want to and felt shitty for my refusal. I reached into my wallet and extricated two $20 bills. I handed one to each man and said, food only, no booze, no cigarettes and get on the bus and get shit straightened out with the accounts! I actually raised my voice!
They agreed. I didn't make them swear an oath but came close. I put it at 50/50 they'd follow through and not drink up the dough.
I really have no idea what I'm doing in these situations. There is no training, no institutional cover, no flow chart, only instinct. There is only making instant decisions and hoping it somehow works out in some capacity for Mark and Donny. It often occurs to me that it won't.
(Note: A day later I ran into Mark and Donny malt liquoring on the sidewalk. Donny had ridden the bus downtown and taken care of business. Mark had not. Like I said, 50/50.)
You should continue to trust your instincts!